Getting Someone's Attention (First lines, Queries, and Synopsis)

When I say someone I mean editors, agents, and most importantly, readers.

It only takes a few pages for someone to decide if they are going to like your story or not. You may have the best story ever but if your first pages are not compelling it will be a hard sell. A lot of articles on this subject talk about hooks but I found it confusing because I can never figure out what my hook is or I have too many hooks. LOL


My best advice is don’t write BORING. Use character, mood, and setting to draw and keep their attention.

You’ve written a whole book about a character you love. Now, you need to condense this character and show it off in the first paragraphs. You can use their voice or a short narration to grab your reader and have them fall in love with your creation.

“Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time rolling on the ground with men who think a stiffy represents personal growth. The rolling around has nothing to do with my sex life. The rolling around is what happens when a bust goes crapola . . . ” (Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight)



Setting is another tool you can use. Describe, see previous blog for description tools, something that entices and entrances by using the five senses.



“He stood at the window . . . framed by the faded curtains which she had chosen forty years before. The sun had bleached their bright roses to a faded pink, and the linings were so threadbare that they could no longer be sent to the cleaners for fear of total disintegration.” (Rosamunde Pilcher, Under Gemini)



Palpable mood can spellbind a reader. With the use of the right kind of adjectives, you can make your reader shiver with anticipation of what will come next.



“The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some . . . ” (Robert Jordan, The Eye of the World) [one of my favorite books by the way}



You have the technical tools now. Here is where you must pull the creative part from your soul and make writing an art. Get creative, break rules, and snap your reader to attention. DON’T WRITE BORING.



The first line of your novel is the most important one of the whole book. I rewrote the first line of Bait twenty-seven times before I found what it needed. “Live bait made all the difference, pretty much a no-brainer.” I chose to go with character since the whole series revolves around Connie. To come up with my first lines, I try to summarize the core essence of the story. Such as the bait reference for a book about being human bait. Or in The Alpha, “No one could call Spice Monroe weak, at least not to her face, yet she returned to Chicago with nothing but the clothes on her back. If only the strong survived, then why did she feel like such a loser?” This story condensed down to Spice’s struggle with belief in oneself.



Not BORING. No cliché lines, no AA introductions, and the story starts right away. Once again, I can’t stress getting creative.



Query letters, another very important thing, since it needs to pass through the gauntlet first before most editors or agents will read your wonderful first page. Many writers spend weeks editing and polishing their WIP then throw together a query/synopsis overnight. These things are just as important as the book. They represent your writing skill.



The query should contain a short open to the story and leaving them wanting more. Kind of like a blurb. I usually start my query with the tagline. Then you need to add the technical info of the book like word count, genre, and heat level. To end the letter give a quick resume such published works and contests wins. I don’t go into much detail. Mine reads like “I have # books published with such and such house and # with this other house. I have received many five star reviews and hit some of the bestsellers lists. For more detailed information here is my website.”



Synopsis should be written in present tense. Where in your story you should be showing your characters dilemmas, in the synopsis you need to tell them. It’s basically a summary of key elements, conflicts, and plot lines. You need to tell everything important, especially the end. The best piece of advice I’ve ever received on writing a synopsis is this: Tell it like your describing the best movie you’ve ever seen to your best friend.



Example:

“It turns out the rosebud, they’ve been looking everywhere for, is not a flower but a gemstone. They have to bribe their way out of jail and jump on a train across the country where John starts to fall in love with Jessica…”


Armed with these tools, go forth and catch someone's attention!

Writing 101- Description

Hey, look! I found my brain.


The next subject I wanted to cover is description in your story. Like show vs tell, you will find two camps on this subject, those who love to describe and those who hate it.

I’m in between the two. I think every scene should be set-up so your reader has a picture in their head BUT they don’t need to know what kind of lace pattern is on the kitchen curtain unless it is pertinent to the story. Also, I suggest not giving a whole paragraph of setting at the beginning of each scene. Weave it into your writing like fine thread and from your characters pov so the reader doesn’t get bored. I’ll give an example in a moment.

Another tool a writer can use is vocabulary. Remember a thesaurus and dictionary is a writer’s best friend. Your character’s mood will affect how you describe your setting. A sad person will view the world differently than an angry one. This also adds to your showing part of writing skills. By using mood in your description shows your reader how your character is feeling without actually telling them.

I will use the above picture for examples.

My character, let’s call her Tiffany, is walking through this forest. As an exercise we will find hopeful words to use and they don’t have to only be adjectives. Let’s use soar, bright, fresh, spring, and promise. I choose most of those words from the top of my head as I thought what hopeful would feel like and I also typed it into my thesaurus to see what came up. I found promising, which sounded good for my use.

Example one:

The bright sunlight broke through the morning mist and Tiffany’s heart soared. Darkness faded so she could see some of the trees and with it some of her fear. Fresh earth tinted the air. Tiffany found a new spring in her step with the promise of escape from these woods.

Notice how all the description comes from Tiffany’s view point. I didn’t describe as if I was above her but from her senses. Let’s mix it up and make Tiffany hopeless by using words like sank, dark, dank, heavy, and danger. I used the same process as above to choose my words.

Example two:

The dark mist swallowed the sunlight and Tiffany’s heart sank. Light faded so she could barely see the trees and with it some of her hope. Dank earth tinted the air. Tiffany found her steps heavy with the danger of being lost forever.

Similar paragraph but by changing the words used to describe the moment, I’ve changed the mood. I didn’t need half a page of description to do it either. From this point the story can continue.

Any questions?

Suspended

Writing 101 classes have been temporarily post poned until Annie Nicholas finds her brain. Sorry for the inconveince.

Independence Blog Hop

There is a lot promoting I could be doing but I'm taking a break from it and going to sit back and enjoy the view. These hotties are my five top favorite pictures and I wanted to share them with you.

He's my favorite. *sigh*

Have a fun weekend. I'm giving away a copy of The Omegas away at this hop.

The Alpha Releases Today!!

New Blog look with a new release!

BLURB:

Someone is about to get some Spice in his life.



Spice has nothing but the clothes on her back when she returns to Chicago. She's looking for a better life, and that means reuniting with her estranged twin sister, Sugar. She isn't thrilled to find out Sugar's boyfriend is a vampire. But then she meets Eric, once the bottle-cap-glasses wearing nerd next door - now grown into the kind of man she'd love to snuggle with on this cold winter night...and he’s offered her his room in Sugar’s house.

Eric can’t believe Spice has returned. He’d given up hope of ever seeing her again, let alone having her stare at him as if he’s sex on a stick. But now that all of his fantasies for them are coming true, reality rears her ugly head and Eric must tell Spice his intimate secret; he’s actually an Alpha werewolf looking for his mate and he thinks he’s found her.

Buy 

Excerpt:

Sugar had everything Spice wanted; a loving man, friends, and a home.

“Daedalus let you cut your hair?” A short man built like a bodybuilder approached her.

The awe in his voice snapped Spice out of her self-pity and the protector inside reared its head. This was the second reference to someone allowing her little sister to do something. “What do you mean ‘let me’?”

What kind of relationship did Sugar have? She needed permission to cut her hair? Maybe destiny brought her back to Chicago to save her little sister from some monster. Again. All those bad things happening to drive her here couldn’t be coincidental.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Where is my sister, and what are you doing in her house?”

They glanced at each other, confusion apparent on their faces. “What?”

The man in the kitchen stuck his head out of the door, chocolate brown eyes wide as he stared at her. “Spice?” The smile he’d given to her when he thought she was Sugar returned but wider.

Her heart skipped a beat. In the light his face seemed familiar as well. “I know you.”

“You should, we were only neighbors forever as kids.”

“Eric!” He had grown. Stupid, of course he’s changed. But she never expected that the skinny, lanky bottle-cap-glasses-wearing nerd would develop into a charming, handsome I-wanna-snuggle-you-on-a-cold-night kind of man. “Hi.” The jobs as a hostess, a bartender, and the most recent, a stripper taught her how to talk to men the way they liked. But with him grinning at her like a happy puppy, her mind went blank.

He swept her into his arms in a bone-cracking hug.

“Wow, I’d forgotten Sugar had a twin.” The redhead scratched his chin. “You look exactly alike, except your hair is short.”

Eric set her back on her feet. “Let me take your coat.” He tugged on the belt and untied it. To her surprise, the small action sparked warmth between her thighs. Not like he took off her clothes but she began to wonder what it would feel like if he did.

Their eyes met. His pupils dilated, the chocolate brown faded to amber, and something feral peeked at her.

She gasped and stepped back.

The pretty oriental girl took her arm and dragged her into the living room. She chattered about making tea, but Spice’s attention riveted on Eric as he stood with the men surrounding him.

What the heck? She’d seen need in men’s eyes before but this was darker, deeper, and so much more alluring.

The redhead tried to take Eric’s arm, but he shook it off and stomped out of sight.

Spice sat on the overstuffed couch. “What did you say your name was?”

“Katrina.”

A dainty, petite girl with long black hair to her knees, yet she gave Spice the impression of great strength. Life in Vegas taught her to be an excellent judge of character. Too bad it had taken her so long to learn.

“I’ll be back in a minute. You stay while I make tea.” Katrina slipped away to the kitchen.

Every flat surface in the living room held a book. Soft cover, hard cover, tattered, or new, Sugar loved her books. The walls were lined with shelves filled with them. Spice picked up the closest one and smelled it. The scent of paper always reminded her of her twin.

The large, square coffee table in front of her held the game Risk. Different colored pieces lay scattered on the thick blue carpet.

Game night at Sugar’s house. She glanced at the hallway. With Eric. Many questions formulated in her head. What happened to her reclusive sister over the past two years? When did she get friends? Probably when her only one, me, left town. Did she hook up with Eric?

Hope sprung in Spice’s heart. Her attraction to him was out of character. She usually loved them tough and bad. Maybe he could be the new beginning she’d come home for.


To celebrate my new release I'm giving away a copy of The Alpha at Paranormal Romantics on 6/21. Be on the look out for my other guest blogs because I'll be giving other copies too!

Annie Nicholas
http://www.annienicholas.com/

Point Of View

When I first started to hang out on the net with other writers, I kept wondering what a POV was? Point of Venue? Practice of Verbs? Once, I found it stood for Point of View I realized I hadn’t a clue what it meant.

A little google search told me the definitions.

• a mental position from which things are viewed
• the spatial property of the position from which something is observed
• the narrative mode used by writers to convey the plot to the audience

Narrative mode? I did a little more digging.

-First person: is a point of view in which an "I" or "we" serves as the narrator of a piece of fiction. While first person point of view can allow a reader to feel very close to a specific character's point of view, it also limits the reader to that one perspective. The reader can only know what this character knows.
Example: “I loved the way he struggled to keep his eyes from wandering over my body as he lectured about the pros and cons of the insurance policy.”

-Second person: the narrator tells the story to another character using "you". The story is being told through the addressee's point of view. It is the least commonly used POV in fiction.
Example: “You opened the door to find an orange cat on your doorstep.”

Third person: uses third person pronouns such as "he" or "she." It’s the most versatile form of pov and can be sub-divided into omniscient and deep.
Example: “He ran around the corner, surprised to find the vampire waiting for him.”

• Omniscient: in which both the reader and author observe the situation either through the senses and thoughts of more than one character, or through an overarching godlike perspective that sees and knows everything that happens and everything the characters are thinking.
Example: “He ran around the corner but he didn’t know a vampire had been waiting for him there all night.” (I find this the hardest pov to write in.)

• Deep: is being so immersed in a character's head, his or her thoughts color everything in the story. It's got 1st person depth in 3rd person format.
Example: “He ran around the corner, his heart stopped as he came eye to eye with his worst nightmare, a vampire.”



So, point of view simply means where is your reader observing the story. If they ‘are’ the character then you want first or deep third. If you want them sitting on the characters shoulder as if watching then you want second or third. If you want them above as if on the ceiling or sky then third omniscient.



Once you chose a point of view, I recommend sticking with it throughout the story. I’ve read some experimental stories where the writer would switch from first to third depending on the character but it knocked me out of the story and I found it too distracting. The best writing allows the reader to get caught up in the story and not even notice what pov they are in.



Next week I’ll discuss deepening your point of view. Don’t forget we’re celebrating our first year anniversary at Paranormal Romantics and having daily give aways.

Show vs Tell

The nemesis of all new writers and, you know, even the ones who’ve been writing for awhile. LOL
To start I want to mention that I think how much you show your story versus how much you tell lends to your voice. It gives your stories a fingerprint, if that analogy helps more.

In my opinion, writing is about forging an emotional link to the reader. While some good fiction functions on a higher intellectual level, it’s the visceral stuff that sticks in our memories. The ones that made you feel the characters’ losses and joys. We’re drawn to these stories because it touched something deep inside and took hold. One of the best ways to grab someone with your story is by creating vivid images that immerse them in the world— by not merely telling readers what’s happening, but showing it to them.

“Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” ~Anton Chekhov.

Like I’ve repeatedly said in this blog series, everything in moderation. I believe in showing more than telling but it’s not written in any writing rules book that is the way it has to be. This choice is part of my voice as a writer.

Every time I find emotional adjectives such as angry, sad, happy, etc in my WIP, I step back and ask if there is a way I can show what my character is feeling instead of telling the reader. This draws the reader emotionally closer to the character.

Ex: Angered by Sheila’s betrayal, Tom left the room. (TELLING)

Tom squeezed his fists until the nails bit into his palms. He stomped from the room and slammed the door behind him. How could she betray like this? (SHOW)

Another suggestion is to show time passing without telling the reader. This is simple but I didn’t get it until another writer told me, so for those like me here you go. LOL State what meal the character is eating, where the sun is in the sky, mention the stars or moon, piles of mail can grow, or have them check their watch. There are plenty of things that can be done and it’s better than stating, “three days later.”

Describing the setting can be considered showing as well but I’ll be discussing this at length in its own blog.
Use of everyday things you observe from people around you will help with showing. If my character is anxious, I’ll make her dialogue short and fast and sometimes it won’t make sense depending on how upset she is. See how this kind of ties in with sentence structure, which I discussed in another blog. Show isn’t an easy concept to jump onto. It’s not 1+1=2. It’s more like 3+2=7 except when there’s a full on the 4th of May but then again you can minus 1.

Once you do get it, I promise it will snap in your head and you’ll see all the possibilities.

When I finally grasped the power of show, I realized I told my readers too much in the aspect of my plots and decided to show them clues instead. Even if they didn’t pull them all together and solve my story on their own, when my heroine did figure it out the readers would have an ‘AHA!’ moment and hopefully think, “She wrote something about this in chapter three. OH! She also mentioned that clue in chapter seven.” I know as a reader, I LOVE those ‘AHA’ moments.

Let’s use an example for this. I’ll make up a plot for this example. Say the end of your story is that the hero saves the heroine by mixing a magic potion to cure her from an evil spell. He needed to gather all the rare ingredients to make it and use a recipe from his great grandmother’s spell book. Mention the spell book in ch 1 or 2 as hint. Have him notice ingredients here there in context with the rest of the story but not too obvious. At the end of the book when he’s in the process of saving her, the reader is more involved in the story because you showed them pieces of the solution. Mind you this is just a simple example to give you an idea of what I meant.

Last but not least, do not go crazy on the showing either. If your character needs to cross the kitchen and get a glass of water and if it is not relevant to the story, then by all means, just tell us. Megan walked to the sink and poured a glass of water.

I hoped this helped more than harmed your understanding of show vs tell.